Perhaps you’re thinking that I haven’t posted on the blog because I’ve been so busy in my new role as a mom.
(Perhaps I flatter myself to think anyone has noticed the month or more of silence…)
You’d be wrong to think that I’m crazy swamped with our sweet little Kirby at home. While it has been a huge adjustment, and the first little bit was overwhelming, we have settled into a somewhat normal routine, during which Kirby does a LOT of sleeping. Within just a few weeks I began to realize just how much newborns sleep. Well, at least ours does (we do know we are supremely fortunate on this front).
At first, I felt like she was falling asleep all the time because she was bored and found me boring. So I texted another mom friend during my first week at home alone with her and asked, “Did you ever feel like your baby was bored?” She wrote back saying she remembered those feelings. “Looking back, I’m pretty sure it was me who was bored,” she said. It’s true. It’s not that the baby is bored… it’s that they just can’t actually do much at this stage except eat, sleep and hiccup. And stare at you.
So, in fact, my silence has been not because I’m busy, but because I honestly haven’t felt like I had much to say. While I love being a mom, I felt like there was nothing new or novel in my lifestyle to blog about. Just going through the same things every new mom does. And sometimes that can seem a bit dull when I think about all the exciting and adventurous things I had to share during our life on the Tour.
But I’ve decided in the past few days that perhaps even these seemingly normal and possibly dull things in my life are the new adventure I’m living, and I want to share that. Not to mention I’ve begun to realize how differently I think about things and see the world now that I’m a mom, and how some of those things are amusing. So, I thought I’d give you a glimpse into my world these day and the kinds of things that run through my mind on a regular basis:
1. Being pleased with myself when I use this instrument of torture properly. It’s possibly alarming how much satisfaction I can derive from sucking boogers out of my baby’s nose. Also alarming is how much she obviously hates it.
To be fair, I think she loves the clear breathing results.
2. Being impressed with myself after taking the baby for a walk around a two-mile track. “I even ran for about a minute!” I think with pride after completing my loop. And then remembering that about two years ago, we were punching out a 100-mile day on our fully loaded bicycles in Vietnam… and I realize that I am the MOST out-of-shape I have been in YEARS.
3. Learning to make a song out of anything. Need to talk about a diaper change? Why not sing it to the baby? Time for a bath? Sounds like a good song. New outfit? Definitely needs to be put to a tune. And since Kirby is the person I talk to most, I’m wondering what percentage of my daily dialogue ends up being sung.
4. Feeling like I’ve gotten “ready” if I took a shower and put on yoga pants and a clean t-shirt. A couple of weeks ago we decided to get a pizza for dinner. That morning my yoga pants were in the wash, so I took my shower and put on a t-shirt and loose-fitting pajama pants instead. But of course I still felt like I had gotten ready. When it was time to get the pizza, I offered to go get it. Dave said, “Oh, that’s OK, I’ll just go since I’m already dressed.” Hmmm… I realized I thought I had been dressed ALL DAY. Clearly a relative term.
(But seriously… what do you wear during this stage? I lost the big bump shortly after leaving the hospital, but still have a solid 10-15 pounds to shed before I might fit into my normal clothes again. Maternity pants are too big and end up sagging since there’s no bump to hold them up. But my regular jeans don’t even come close to sliding over my thighs, which is alarming, since I wasn’t actually pregnant in my thighs… but that’s another post. I have just now been released by the doctor to exercise again, and I know it will take some time to work off the extra weight. So I bought one pair of “in-between jeans.” I’m just wondering how long “in-between” really is… but I refuse to buy more because I’m afraid I’ll never be motivated to get out of them. All that to say, yoga pants continue to win most days. Plus it’s not like I’m really going anywhere.)
5. Feeling like I’ve had a highly productive day if I went to the grocery, took a shower, and made dinner… and realizing those are all things I used to do in addition to a full 8-hour day at work! Turns out normal errands just take a little more time and effort when you’re doing them with a baby. (Plus, now my comparison point is six weeks of mostly staying at home and not doing much of anything!)
6. Being amazed at how I genuinely believe sweet little Kirby gets cuter EVERY DAY. As she is getting a little older (8 weeks now!), she’s starting to show some genuine expression. I am overwhelmed with more and more love for this little sweetie. I won’t go on gushing here… and I know that others out there who have experienced this adventure of parenthood has a grasp on these feelings that I find so difficult to put into words.
Look at this Valentine sweetie! And that smile!
Though I haven’t been particularly busy up until this point, making time to blog in the future might be a challenge as I am starting back to work this week. I am so grateful to have the “best of both worlds” by being able to work part-time from home. So I’ll be doing my job of non-profit fundraising (event planning and grant writing) while staying at home with my little one. I realize this is a HUGE blessing, and I am thankful to have the opportunity to continue what I feel is meaningful work while getting to still be with Kirby most of the time. But I do want to stay consistent (though possibly less frequent) with the blog. So stay tuned… we’ll be continuing to update at some point, I promise!
No matter how busy we are… I want to be sure to make time for morning snuggles!
